Is it rude to be annoyed by the personality of someone who you've never really met? For my own sanity, I'm going to go with "no". Some may think of it as being overly judgmental, and yes, in a sense it is, but I'm not going around openly expressing my dislike of certain people. I'm just blogging about things that are moderately annoying and that are moderately based on real people.
Due to laziness, I'm going to organize this in the lowest form of thought organization, the bullet point. It was either this or a blogpost about how men marginalize me, so deal with it.
- The sort of person who is unnecessarily angry towards other people because of their perceived sense of moral superiority. Men can fall under this category, but typically this person is a girl who has chosen to not participate in drinking, drug consumption, or sex and insists upon looking down upon other women who choose to do so. Sometimes this sort of person self identifies as a feminist (a thought that makes my insides congeal). This sort of person believes that any sort of pleasure, sexual or otherwise is only acceptable if it lives up to their standards of purity. They will often talk about how they "don't see the point of drinking" or give side-eyed looks to "sluts". This sort of person will also often complain about how men aren't interested in them and are only interested in "slutty girls". In reality, men are interested in people who don't bitch and moan about how slutty everyone else is. For men who fall into this category, they may not necessarily do badly when it comes to women, but their sexual success is only a mask for their misogyny, because they will rarely criticize the behavior of drunk or sexually promiscuous men and save all their judgment up for the lucky members of the opposite sex.
- Girls whose sexual allure relies of racial stereotypes. Some examples of this are Asian girls who try to portray themselves as being girlier, cuter and paler than they actually are. Although they are not necessarily to blame for their behavior (hello, white patriarchal society), this doesn't cancel out their annoying behavior. Other examples of this are people of color (who are somewhat "white passing") trying to play up their "exotic" heritage. Do they self describe as "exotic" or "ethnic"? If yes, then there's a pretty good chance they irritate me.
- People who pretend to have mental disorders in an effort to be interesting. Do you know what doesn't make me interesting: my depression. Having any sort of disorder: OCD, bulimia, insomnia, depression or high anxiety are hurtful and can have effects that last far longer than the disorder itself. People who suffer from mental disorders suffer from all sorts of stigmas on top of their psychological pain. If you don't know what it's like to have any of these problems, but you co-opt the symptoms you heard about on a House episode once in an attempt to make yourself more interesting than the plain baked potato that you are, I have no interest in your life. People like this only add to the stigma that people with mental disorders are "faking it" and should just "get up and fix themselves". You can just get up and be rid of your disorder, we can't, and you're a sanctimonious prick for using our pain to make yourself interesting.
- Anyone who unequally criticizes black men / white men. If you're going to criticize men, don't rush to saying "black men are immature", "black men don't know how to treat a woman". This most often applies to women of color that I know, who are always 100% ready to criticize black men, even if white men do the same shit to them. I understand that being in a predominantly white environment where racism, subtle and overt, is more common can make people feel like the white men they are surrounded by are "better". But isn't it more of a matter of the men (black or white) who you choose to associate with and not a function of their race? Many of these same women have negative sexual experiences with men who are not black, but will continue to criticize black men for their behavior. In an environment like this, frustration can be experienced by black women, because black men often pursue white women (easier targets for easy sex), but is this a reflection of black men not being worthwhile or the society they are in that somehow values white bread clones over black women? When someone does something shitty to you, call them out, but thinking that pursuing an interracial relationship -- where you're likely to be fetishized anyways -- will end racism rather than trying to reconcile black men's immaturity with your own desires is not a realistic solution for problems in your romantic life.
Runner-up traits that annoy me:
- Misogyny; overt or subtle, however so pervasive that it's hard to pinpoint instances
- Faux sexual liberation
- When someone goes out -- to a meal / event -- and pays more attention to other things than the person they're actually suppose to be with
- 2nd or 3rd generation West Indians who romanticize West Indian culture
- People who don't have an "inside voice"
