Thoughts on Sex

Why are some people so obsessed with changing who they are because of sex? People feel the need to pretend that they are either okay with casual sex because they feel the need to fit in with college hook up culture or they feel the need to act like all sex is life changing because they worry about being judged by the people around them. It's hard to imagine a world where all my female friends and acquaintances are honest about their sexual selves. 

Something as simple as emotional honesty is totally ignored by most young people pursuing sexual relationships for the first time. Too much importance is attached to "virginity" and it's presence or absence when in reality the most important part of any sexual relationship is honesty. Many men are concerned that having sex with a virgin will make her attached to them to a point that they are not ready for. While this may be true for some women, it isn't true for all and virginity has nothing to do with levels of attachment after a sexual encounter. Many women are not honest with themselves about what they want from a "relationship" and this creates problems for them in the future. 

You cannot fuck a guy into loving you, you cannot fuck your emotional problems away and relationships are not a cure to your psychological ills. How can I pound this into the heads of the people I'm surrounded by?

I hate when people look to me and my relationship as an example of a "perfect" situation where someone you start off just sleeping with turns into a relationship. It's such an incomplete picture of what happened between Andrew and me. It's an attempt to turn an exception and a strange occurrence into a standardized experience in an effort to make this chance event something that could happen to anyone and likely will. 

How do I advise people without inserting my own experiences into my advice? This is difficult for me because many people I interact with tend not to comprehend the extent to which I am honest with myself and with others. It's not something "comfortable" or "easy" but it's necessary. Recently, I've been trying to just stay away from giving other's sexual advice. It seems to overwhelm many people when I suggest that you can be interested in both casual sex and emotional sex and having one type of sex doesn't mean you are giving up on the other for life.