Perfection, by it's very definition is an admired and coveted state. The people our society considers most beautiful are the ones with no flaws or at least minimal flaws. Everyone strives to have perfect hair, perfect skin and the perfect balance of being small without being too thin. For me, it's difficult to understand everyone else's push towards this monotony or for me to understand their desire for everyone to be the same. Carbon copies disinterest me.
I prefer surrounding myself with flawed people, and not with some twisted ulterior motive of using them to feel better about myself. I find flaws interesting; Monet's lilies with some black paint spattered across them and a rip in the upper right hand corner would probably attract me more than the originals. I quickly become bored in the absence of novelty, especially when it comes to my social interactions. Frequently I will become nearly obsessively fascinated with particular people; this is rarely out of romantic interest and more often out of a more general curiosity.
Within my own mind it is easy for me to distinguish and compartmentalize between my preoccupations and genuine romantic affection, but this is something I find difficult to explain to other people. It is something I imagine most find difficult to understand. Friends expect you to be attracted to the same types of people they are attracted to; this social pressure has the potential to be aggravating. I know I am supposed to have particular standards: the perfect height should lie somewhere around 6 feet tall "not too short, not too tall for me", of course a guy should be attractive and have played a few varsity sports (tennis and squash do not count), but in addition to being athletic he also has to be smart; I'm a nerd and someone less than intelligent would be unacceptable.
I think it's stupid to latch onto the concept of an ideal person. Being focused on this ideal distracts from experiencing the variation of the personalities around you. Of course, if your particular tastes are skewed in one direction, and you don't feel the need to change, I'm not suggesting that you do change, and I'm not suggesting that I'm overly critical of your take on what's beautiful. I only hope to urge you to accept others' different perceptions of beauty.
I don't take a long time to decide how curious I am about someone. After my first conversation with someone, I generally decide if I want to be friends with them or not. This isn't because I'm judgmental; I don't instantly write someone off and ignore them if I am uninterested, I'm more polite than that, but it is easy for me to stop pursuing friendship of a particular depth without feeling mean. My basis for interest in someone is random; I use no conscious standard to decide who I want to befriend.
The randomness with which I choose my friends could be viewed as a pattern or standard, but it's difficult to pin down and define. If a particular trait stands out to me as different, that will often be enough to interest me for a while. If I've never been friends with someone who fosters a strange obsession with collecting porcelain dolls, that oddity could be enough to make me want to befriend them. A person who seems excessively quiet can be just as interesting to me as someone who is funny and is constantly trying to make people around them laugh.
Openly admitting that I am selective about the people I'm friends with often shocks people . I've been called judgmental, anti-social, mean and told that I should "give everyone a chance". I don't think my critics have any basis upon which to spout their criticisms. Is what I do any worse than approaching a girl or guy at a party because you find him/her attractive? I do the same thing, except I'm more likely to approach the guy standing alone trying not to look bored.
However, I accept that most people are not like me. I try not to judge them for it and I try to understand how they view the world. I wonder what it's like for them; I sometimes think my life would be easier if I thought like everyone else. Although I try to be realistic about being different in this way, it is difficult for me not to get frustrated with my position ever so often. As much as I try to understand everyone else's view of the world, it is irritating to feel like no one is trying to understand me. I don't want to force my perspective on everyone else, but I wish that more people would try to understand. I don't consider myself too anti-social and I wonder why my honesty, which people claim to value so much, is perceived as bitchiness. Perhaps I will understand society better if I try harder to immerse myself in it, despite how isolating this society can be.
I prefer surrounding myself with flawed people, and not with some twisted ulterior motive of using them to feel better about myself. I find flaws interesting; Monet's lilies with some black paint spattered across them and a rip in the upper right hand corner would probably attract me more than the originals. I quickly become bored in the absence of novelty, especially when it comes to my social interactions. Frequently I will become nearly obsessively fascinated with particular people; this is rarely out of romantic interest and more often out of a more general curiosity.
Within my own mind it is easy for me to distinguish and compartmentalize between my preoccupations and genuine romantic affection, but this is something I find difficult to explain to other people. It is something I imagine most find difficult to understand. Friends expect you to be attracted to the same types of people they are attracted to; this social pressure has the potential to be aggravating. I know I am supposed to have particular standards: the perfect height should lie somewhere around 6 feet tall "not too short, not too tall for me", of course a guy should be attractive and have played a few varsity sports (tennis and squash do not count), but in addition to being athletic he also has to be smart; I'm a nerd and someone less than intelligent would be unacceptable.
I think it's stupid to latch onto the concept of an ideal person. Being focused on this ideal distracts from experiencing the variation of the personalities around you. Of course, if your particular tastes are skewed in one direction, and you don't feel the need to change, I'm not suggesting that you do change, and I'm not suggesting that I'm overly critical of your take on what's beautiful. I only hope to urge you to accept others' different perceptions of beauty.
I don't take a long time to decide how curious I am about someone. After my first conversation with someone, I generally decide if I want to be friends with them or not. This isn't because I'm judgmental; I don't instantly write someone off and ignore them if I am uninterested, I'm more polite than that, but it is easy for me to stop pursuing friendship of a particular depth without feeling mean. My basis for interest in someone is random; I use no conscious standard to decide who I want to befriend.
The randomness with which I choose my friends could be viewed as a pattern or standard, but it's difficult to pin down and define. If a particular trait stands out to me as different, that will often be enough to interest me for a while. If I've never been friends with someone who fosters a strange obsession with collecting porcelain dolls, that oddity could be enough to make me want to befriend them. A person who seems excessively quiet can be just as interesting to me as someone who is funny and is constantly trying to make people around them laugh.
Openly admitting that I am selective about the people I'm friends with often shocks people . I've been called judgmental, anti-social, mean and told that I should "give everyone a chance". I don't think my critics have any basis upon which to spout their criticisms. Is what I do any worse than approaching a girl or guy at a party because you find him/her attractive? I do the same thing, except I'm more likely to approach the guy standing alone trying not to look bored.
However, I accept that most people are not like me. I try not to judge them for it and I try to understand how they view the world. I wonder what it's like for them; I sometimes think my life would be easier if I thought like everyone else. Although I try to be realistic about being different in this way, it is difficult for me not to get frustrated with my position ever so often. As much as I try to understand everyone else's view of the world, it is irritating to feel like no one is trying to understand me. I don't want to force my perspective on everyone else, but I wish that more people would try to understand. I don't consider myself too anti-social and I wonder why my honesty, which people claim to value so much, is perceived as bitchiness. Perhaps I will understand society better if I try harder to immerse myself in it, despite how isolating this society can be.
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