What dictates someone's perceptions of you? What makes someone decide that you are preppy, a hipster, a nerd or a jock? Personally I've been labelled as three out of the four. I owe you a Pepsi if you can guess which one I'm not. I don't use the word "label" in the way most people seem to use it with a negative connotation; I'm merely making an observation about the way people I have observed choose to define their peers. People I interact with are quick to assume things about me based on the the small percentage of my personality I have revealed to them and I oftentimes wonder why they do this, or to greater import, whether I do the same thing.
I am quick to acknowledge that I am judgmental. I try not to let my tendency to analyze and draw conclusions - as the politically correct would say - become the driving force of my interactions but it is so engrained in my persona that it's nearly impossible. I wonder if my habit is learned from society or somehow genetically inherent in my personality. I also think about whether or not I have the right to care about people labeling me when I could potentially be doing the same thing to them.
When I draw conclusions about people from limited interactions, I tend not to permanently associate them with these conclusions unless our interactions were truly horrible. For instance, if the first time I meet someone they are sloppily drunk being carried up the stairs by five people I may not instantly associate them with being a sloppy drunk (even if this is a one time thing for them), however I am open to my impressions of them changing.
However, in another situation, if someone has met me for the first time and they open up too much about their personal lives, to the extent where I am made uncomfortable, it's pretty hard for the damage to be undone. More purposeful interactions cause me to draw more permanent conclusions. If someone goes out of their way to behave a particular way towards me, my perception of their character is affected a lot more than if I merely happen upon them in a compromising situation.
When I am called preppy or a hipster I frequently know exactly what leads people to these conclusions. If I wake up and decide to put on a dress, pearls and flats as opposed to jeans and flannel, I am setting myself up for being labeled as a prep. When I choose to blast Arcade Fire as opposed to Ke$ha, especially when I wear my wayfarer style glasses, I'm a hipster.
I am aware of the decisions I make that lead others to assume things about me. I recognize that certain decisions lead to certain assumptions; particular behaviors are assessed and categorized into specific boxes. Now, I am questioning whether or not I am truly being myself at any given moment or if I am just playing to a particular assumption or typecast that has been set up. Do I really care that much about what people think of me? Am I afraid that they will dislike my personality? Or am I just obsessed with the amount of control I can exercise over my image?
Controlling my image was important for most of my high school career. Remnants of my conscious efforts to control how people viewed me are manifested in my loss of my Caribbean accent, my shift towards preppier clothing and overcompensating levels of intellectualism. Now, I am a mix of so many different things and I don't think of myself as having an identifiable personality type. I sometimes feel the urge to reveal more of the person I am when I'm alone and unconcerned about others' reactions, but at this point I think the shift would be too dramatic to seem authentic. (Oh the irony).
In any case, I have learned that this kind of vulnerability with my personality is weak, regardless of its authenticity. No one cares to know about your naiveté or your crazy hopes and dreams for the future. People are more likely to respect someone tough and competitive with hopes of living in New York surrounded by the equally callused than someone meek who is slightly unsure of herself but just wants to be happy living a subsistent life in the middle of nowhere. "Respect from others shouldn't matter!" - the response is too predictable. But it does matter. Your interactions with society are dictated by others; your success in society is dictated by what others think of you.
If I have to act a certain way to eventually reach my goals of happiness, it's what I'm going to do. Years of self-loathing for not being true to myself in exchange for a future of happiness seems like a fair trade to me. Isn't that what growing up is about? I'm teaching myself the value of delayed gratification - and that's all this is. The fact of the matter is, it's difficult to succeed in a competitive environment if others perceive you as weak; you may argue that it's possible to be meek and quiet while still being a threat to competition, but then your view of success is limited to a smaller range; the meek rarely go as far as the strong.
My image can be classified is one of those teenage rebellions I suppose, but I don't want it to be a cliche. I want to have freedom from this rebellion in the future and I don't cling to the foolish nothing that this is how I will perceive the world forever. My image will hopefully direct me, and help me attain my goals for the future. A façade of confidence and self-assuredness is better than none at all.
I am quick to acknowledge that I am judgmental. I try not to let my tendency to analyze and draw conclusions - as the politically correct would say - become the driving force of my interactions but it is so engrained in my persona that it's nearly impossible. I wonder if my habit is learned from society or somehow genetically inherent in my personality. I also think about whether or not I have the right to care about people labeling me when I could potentially be doing the same thing to them.
When I draw conclusions about people from limited interactions, I tend not to permanently associate them with these conclusions unless our interactions were truly horrible. For instance, if the first time I meet someone they are sloppily drunk being carried up the stairs by five people I may not instantly associate them with being a sloppy drunk (even if this is a one time thing for them), however I am open to my impressions of them changing.
However, in another situation, if someone has met me for the first time and they open up too much about their personal lives, to the extent where I am made uncomfortable, it's pretty hard for the damage to be undone. More purposeful interactions cause me to draw more permanent conclusions. If someone goes out of their way to behave a particular way towards me, my perception of their character is affected a lot more than if I merely happen upon them in a compromising situation.
When I am called preppy or a hipster I frequently know exactly what leads people to these conclusions. If I wake up and decide to put on a dress, pearls and flats as opposed to jeans and flannel, I am setting myself up for being labeled as a prep. When I choose to blast Arcade Fire as opposed to Ke$ha, especially when I wear my wayfarer style glasses, I'm a hipster.
I am aware of the decisions I make that lead others to assume things about me. I recognize that certain decisions lead to certain assumptions; particular behaviors are assessed and categorized into specific boxes. Now, I am questioning whether or not I am truly being myself at any given moment or if I am just playing to a particular assumption or typecast that has been set up. Do I really care that much about what people think of me? Am I afraid that they will dislike my personality? Or am I just obsessed with the amount of control I can exercise over my image?
Controlling my image was important for most of my high school career. Remnants of my conscious efforts to control how people viewed me are manifested in my loss of my Caribbean accent, my shift towards preppier clothing and overcompensating levels of intellectualism. Now, I am a mix of so many different things and I don't think of myself as having an identifiable personality type. I sometimes feel the urge to reveal more of the person I am when I'm alone and unconcerned about others' reactions, but at this point I think the shift would be too dramatic to seem authentic. (Oh the irony).
In any case, I have learned that this kind of vulnerability with my personality is weak, regardless of its authenticity. No one cares to know about your naiveté or your crazy hopes and dreams for the future. People are more likely to respect someone tough and competitive with hopes of living in New York surrounded by the equally callused than someone meek who is slightly unsure of herself but just wants to be happy living a subsistent life in the middle of nowhere. "Respect from others shouldn't matter!" - the response is too predictable. But it does matter. Your interactions with society are dictated by others; your success in society is dictated by what others think of you.
If I have to act a certain way to eventually reach my goals of happiness, it's what I'm going to do. Years of self-loathing for not being true to myself in exchange for a future of happiness seems like a fair trade to me. Isn't that what growing up is about? I'm teaching myself the value of delayed gratification - and that's all this is. The fact of the matter is, it's difficult to succeed in a competitive environment if others perceive you as weak; you may argue that it's possible to be meek and quiet while still being a threat to competition, but then your view of success is limited to a smaller range; the meek rarely go as far as the strong.
My image can be classified is one of those teenage rebellions I suppose, but I don't want it to be a cliche. I want to have freedom from this rebellion in the future and I don't cling to the foolish nothing that this is how I will perceive the world forever. My image will hopefully direct me, and help me attain my goals for the future. A façade of confidence and self-assuredness is better than none at all.
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