People love labels. Not only is this statement common knowledge, but it's clichéd to point out. I'm doing it anyway. This need to attribute a behavior or attitude to a verbal expression influences not only basic descriptions: multiracial, white, gay, straight, smart or stupid, but extends to less first-introduction type things like being outdoorsy, a "science person" or having a "type" of person you are attracted to. Many of these labels bother me; I feel like my personal contribution to ending labeling is weak. Being a multiracial part-hipster* part-prep pseudo-intellectual scientist who likes photography is not activism, it's my personality.
Despite my forceful counter-attacks, labels still manage to exist. The one I find most difficult to relate to is needing to have a "type" of person I am attracted to. I view physical beauty on two different planes. One level is my ability to identify people who are generally viewed as attractive. The other plane is people who I am attracted to and actually would consider pursuing a relationship/ friends-with-benefits-ship with. I can't be attracted to someone without knowing what they are like. I can't randomly hook up with people; even the most beautiful stranger holds no appeal. Even if someone is physically perfect, I can't imagine being attracted to them if I don't like their personality.
I think of people as works of art. Each person is a different painting or sculpture that evokes a different emotion and is crafted with a different style. No two paintings appeal to your senses the same way, and people are the same way. In a person, I generally appreciate sharp cheekbones, defined collarbones, light colored eyes, messy hair and I admire a large nose that doesn't seem to fit with the rest of someone's face.
Although I admire all these physical traits, I have never liked someone who has had even three out of these five traits at the same time. In terms of attraction, I view physical appearances as more of a bonus than an initial attractor. I am more attracted to the silent types than I am to people with perfect bodies. A certain degree of boyish arrogance holds more appeal than a symmetrical smile. Like paintings, each person holds a different appeal. Whether in Van Gogh's brush strokes or in precision like Holbein's Henry VIII, differences are important to appreciating beauty of things. Henry VIII painted in Van Gogh's style would be strange; so would a Van Gogh without the iconic brush strokes.
I cannot imagine liking the same type of person twice. After something is over, I feel like I've had enough. Although I may miss people from my past, I prefer to move on to something different. I realize I am speaking about this as if I have some conscious control over the people I like. I don't; if I did, my life would go a different direction entirely. But, there are parts of my subconscious' attraction mechanisms that I am very much aware of despite my inability to control them. What I am most aware of is the fact that I do not have a type. I have no racial or personality preference. A love of reading can be very beautiful on one person, yet come off as pretentious on someone else. I think most people have an artistic appeal and whether or not I am attracted to them is variable and unrelated to whether I find them aesthetically appealing or not. For some reason, this concept is difficult for people to understand. When I attempt explanation, I am often forced to trail off into silence or end with a succinct "whatever" followed by an eye roll.
I don't see why people need to have a type, and I don't understand specifically why people in my life want to force the concept upon me when I am so vocal about my opposition to it. Categorization and labeling is most often done by people we consider friends; when we don't stand up to them we are further entrenching our society in this culture of quick judgments and unnecessary labels. Some people may have a type, and that's fine, but trying to force your ideals of what you believe attraction is upon someone else is rude and imposing. It's important for us to keep this idea in mind in relation to other scenarios besides who our friends find attractive. Opening our minds up to acceptance of a variety of personality traits can allow us to realize the hidden diversity our friends' minds contain.
*in terms of my style only. A real hipster would never describe themselves as a hipster.
Despite my forceful counter-attacks, labels still manage to exist. The one I find most difficult to relate to is needing to have a "type" of person I am attracted to. I view physical beauty on two different planes. One level is my ability to identify people who are generally viewed as attractive. The other plane is people who I am attracted to and actually would consider pursuing a relationship/ friends-with-benefits-ship with. I can't be attracted to someone without knowing what they are like. I can't randomly hook up with people; even the most beautiful stranger holds no appeal. Even if someone is physically perfect, I can't imagine being attracted to them if I don't like their personality.
I think of people as works of art. Each person is a different painting or sculpture that evokes a different emotion and is crafted with a different style. No two paintings appeal to your senses the same way, and people are the same way. In a person, I generally appreciate sharp cheekbones, defined collarbones, light colored eyes, messy hair and I admire a large nose that doesn't seem to fit with the rest of someone's face.
Although I admire all these physical traits, I have never liked someone who has had even three out of these five traits at the same time. In terms of attraction, I view physical appearances as more of a bonus than an initial attractor. I am more attracted to the silent types than I am to people with perfect bodies. A certain degree of boyish arrogance holds more appeal than a symmetrical smile. Like paintings, each person holds a different appeal. Whether in Van Gogh's brush strokes or in precision like Holbein's Henry VIII, differences are important to appreciating beauty of things. Henry VIII painted in Van Gogh's style would be strange; so would a Van Gogh without the iconic brush strokes.
I cannot imagine liking the same type of person twice. After something is over, I feel like I've had enough. Although I may miss people from my past, I prefer to move on to something different. I realize I am speaking about this as if I have some conscious control over the people I like. I don't; if I did, my life would go a different direction entirely. But, there are parts of my subconscious' attraction mechanisms that I am very much aware of despite my inability to control them. What I am most aware of is the fact that I do not have a type. I have no racial or personality preference. A love of reading can be very beautiful on one person, yet come off as pretentious on someone else. I think most people have an artistic appeal and whether or not I am attracted to them is variable and unrelated to whether I find them aesthetically appealing or not. For some reason, this concept is difficult for people to understand. When I attempt explanation, I am often forced to trail off into silence or end with a succinct "whatever" followed by an eye roll.
I don't see why people need to have a type, and I don't understand specifically why people in my life want to force the concept upon me when I am so vocal about my opposition to it. Categorization and labeling is most often done by people we consider friends; when we don't stand up to them we are further entrenching our society in this culture of quick judgments and unnecessary labels. Some people may have a type, and that's fine, but trying to force your ideals of what you believe attraction is upon someone else is rude and imposing. It's important for us to keep this idea in mind in relation to other scenarios besides who our friends find attractive. Opening our minds up to acceptance of a variety of personality traits can allow us to realize the hidden diversity our friends' minds contain.
*in terms of my style only. A real hipster would never describe themselves as a hipster.
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