I'm writing for the island girls who choose to go out and explore the world. I speak from experience when I say it's one of the hardest things you can do. You never realize how much you need the familiar until you are isolated from it. Even if it is an isolation you choose, you never realize the profound effect the island had on you and everything about you.
You never realize how much you would miss the little things. Ackee season, swimming at the Aquatic Center and Alliance Française become distant memories you wish you could revisit with the same innocence as before. You wish you could be unaware of a cutthroat world, where people don't care about each other the same way and family is a burden people can choose not to experience. Just the word family doesn't have the same connotation and you are thrust into a world where you have to create a family out of nothing. And this new family could never dream of having the same strength as your family back at home.
Then there will always be the question of whether or not leaving was worth it. There are times when you can feel so alone; without the sun beating down on your back as you watch your parents struggle to keep you help you be successful it is easy to lose sight of why you left. I am writing this with the intention of comforting you, and tell you it will all be worth it. I want to assure you that leaving was a good idea because you can always come back after you see the world. However, I am still grappling with questions regarding my personal decision to go abroad to study. Can you ever really come back? Is it really worth it to leave in the first place?
Although we hate the frigid winters, the rude people, the bland food that any West Indian mother would be embarrassed to put on the table, we know that we are abroad for a reason. We may lose sight of why exactly when things get hard but we know that a good reason exists.
When we were children we dreamed of a better life. We didn't want the same boring jobs as our parents and wanted to make enough money to move from our communities to the mansions and villas of the local upper class. Who could predict that fending for yourself could be so hard and quitting would mean not only letting yourself down but everyone else around you. Everyone wants to be a success story: from SJC to the US to the house in Cap with frequent vacations in Florida.
None of us predicted the difficulty we would have assimilating. Although no one wants to say it, it's a race thing. From your hair to your accent everything that was once common and embraced becomes a feature of the minority. What happens is different from oppression though; it's more of a painful suppression. In order to fit in, you must assimilate. Sucking your teeth becomes "whatever" and "bon djay" becomes "OMG!" Your colloquialisms are suddenly smoothed over with proper grammar slowing down your thoughts before they can escape and mellowing out your culture towards the monochromatic.
It's hard to explain to foreigners why you want so desperately to move back despite all the hardships you had at home. They don't understand. They see you as a lucky immigrant who happened to be "smart enough" to leave. They think their world is more advanced. Thank God you escaped the third world! You might smile and nod as they subtly denigrate the only place you've been sure that you belonged in, but you are filled with a painful nostalgia that can only be shaken off one way.
But, you grew up in the West Indies for a reason. There is a reason for everything that has happened to you and there is a reason you are trying to make a different life for yourself. You know about the increased crime rate amongst the youth. You know that there are few high powered jobs and your only hope of a better life for yourself and your family is business, law or medicine. You no longer want to accept mediocrity.
You grew up on in the West Indies because you are supposed to be strong. You are more resilient than most. You were raised with a West Indian work ethic. Failure and setbacks don't screw us up, but encourage us to work harder. West Indian girls don't give up and never will. Colleges can reject us and we might fail a class, but we will never stop working. It isn't in our nature to give up, to take rejection laying down. No matter how we have struggled in our past lives, whether you grew up in the Fond or in more developed areas, you are built with the most important element of success coursing through your veins. Other people just want to become successful, but you need it. Failure is an option only for those with a safety net, something you don't have the luxury of having.
So here's to the island girls, for being resilient and strong. For being beautiful and amazing. For holding on to their culture and morals even when surrounded by temptation. Here's to the island girls for caring about family more than anything in the world and sacrificing their own happiness for the good of the people they care about at home.
So, when things get hard, remember the way the sun feels on your back, and the way the ocean feels when it seeps through your hair and washes over your skin. Remember why you are wherever you are and continue to pursue your hopes and dreams. You know that giving up is never an option, and I need you to remember that during the most difficult times.
You never realize how much you would miss the little things. Ackee season, swimming at the Aquatic Center and Alliance Française become distant memories you wish you could revisit with the same innocence as before. You wish you could be unaware of a cutthroat world, where people don't care about each other the same way and family is a burden people can choose not to experience. Just the word family doesn't have the same connotation and you are thrust into a world where you have to create a family out of nothing. And this new family could never dream of having the same strength as your family back at home.
Then there will always be the question of whether or not leaving was worth it. There are times when you can feel so alone; without the sun beating down on your back as you watch your parents struggle to keep you help you be successful it is easy to lose sight of why you left. I am writing this with the intention of comforting you, and tell you it will all be worth it. I want to assure you that leaving was a good idea because you can always come back after you see the world. However, I am still grappling with questions regarding my personal decision to go abroad to study. Can you ever really come back? Is it really worth it to leave in the first place?
Although we hate the frigid winters, the rude people, the bland food that any West Indian mother would be embarrassed to put on the table, we know that we are abroad for a reason. We may lose sight of why exactly when things get hard but we know that a good reason exists.
When we were children we dreamed of a better life. We didn't want the same boring jobs as our parents and wanted to make enough money to move from our communities to the mansions and villas of the local upper class. Who could predict that fending for yourself could be so hard and quitting would mean not only letting yourself down but everyone else around you. Everyone wants to be a success story: from SJC to the US to the house in Cap with frequent vacations in Florida.
None of us predicted the difficulty we would have assimilating. Although no one wants to say it, it's a race thing. From your hair to your accent everything that was once common and embraced becomes a feature of the minority. What happens is different from oppression though; it's more of a painful suppression. In order to fit in, you must assimilate. Sucking your teeth becomes "whatever" and "bon djay" becomes "OMG!" Your colloquialisms are suddenly smoothed over with proper grammar slowing down your thoughts before they can escape and mellowing out your culture towards the monochromatic.
It's hard to explain to foreigners why you want so desperately to move back despite all the hardships you had at home. They don't understand. They see you as a lucky immigrant who happened to be "smart enough" to leave. They think their world is more advanced. Thank God you escaped the third world! You might smile and nod as they subtly denigrate the only place you've been sure that you belonged in, but you are filled with a painful nostalgia that can only be shaken off one way.
But, you grew up in the West Indies for a reason. There is a reason for everything that has happened to you and there is a reason you are trying to make a different life for yourself. You know about the increased crime rate amongst the youth. You know that there are few high powered jobs and your only hope of a better life for yourself and your family is business, law or medicine. You no longer want to accept mediocrity.
You grew up on in the West Indies because you are supposed to be strong. You are more resilient than most. You were raised with a West Indian work ethic. Failure and setbacks don't screw us up, but encourage us to work harder. West Indian girls don't give up and never will. Colleges can reject us and we might fail a class, but we will never stop working. It isn't in our nature to give up, to take rejection laying down. No matter how we have struggled in our past lives, whether you grew up in the Fond or in more developed areas, you are built with the most important element of success coursing through your veins. Other people just want to become successful, but you need it. Failure is an option only for those with a safety net, something you don't have the luxury of having.
So here's to the island girls, for being resilient and strong. For being beautiful and amazing. For holding on to their culture and morals even when surrounded by temptation. Here's to the island girls for caring about family more than anything in the world and sacrificing their own happiness for the good of the people they care about at home.
So, when things get hard, remember the way the sun feels on your back, and the way the ocean feels when it seeps through your hair and washes over your skin. Remember why you are wherever you are and continue to pursue your hopes and dreams. You know that giving up is never an option, and I need you to remember that during the most difficult times.
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