I have had yet to work up the courage (or the egotism) to blog as if this were my personal diary. I leave out feelings, talk of my daily life and my interactions with other people. I generally prefer to expand upon less personal thoughts I have - many of them are related to some form of social justice or things I have noticed that I find interesting. Sometimes I will vent my frustrations about the way the world works or how I perceive my place in the world. I wonder if what I'm doing is healthy, using this place for venting and keeping my emotions distant. One of my biggest criticisms in a writing workshop elective (Expo to any Grotties that come across this) I took as a senior was that I was "too impersonal" and "could have said more about myself".
I wonder if this is a significant criticism. Am I really too impersonal, and if I am, does that really bother people? Do readers actually want more of my personality injected into my writing?
I believe that good writing is about taking risks. Many writers play it safe, using vocabulary they are comfortable with and writing in a style often intended to imitate a famous author whose style they find strikes a balance between comprehensible and beautiful. In my writing, I like to mix up playing it safe and taking risks. A risk for me, is not editing my work before publishing it and letting my loose thoughts fight to the death for significance. Playing it safe is keeping my writing void of real emotion. My thoughts and opinions do not feel personal to me. I rarely keep my opinions a secret unless I am speaking to a complete stranger so sharing them is hardly risky.
Emotions on the other hand are tricky. I hate talking about how I feel towards other people, or how I feel about particular events in my life. I can say passively, "I failed a test today, so I plan to work harder because I believe that failing a test is unacceptable". However, I will rarely risk saying how I feel about failure. "I failed a test today. It reflects how lazy I've been feeling recently. I feel like everyone will think I am stupid if they find out. I am worried about it. I want to work harder, but I don't know if I can because there are so many other things going on, and I'm not sure if this test even matters compared to these other things and I don't know what to do, and I think I'm going insane because does anyone else get so anxious about one stupid test?" You get the point.
Perhaps the root of my hesitation lies in insecurity. I am worried about what people will think about my feelings. I am worried that people will think I am crazy or worse, confirm my fears that my feelings are something to be mocked and laughed at rather than acknowledged as genuine aspects of my personality.
As of today, I've decided to start taking more risks with what I write here. At least once a week, I will try to write about something real that I'm feeling. I want to acknowledge the fact that I have emotions and find the courage to write about them. My goal with this blog is to work on my abilities as a writer, and this will be largely futile if I withhold a part of myself.
P.S. I really hate titles, and I'm sorry that all of them are horrible.
I wonder if this is a significant criticism. Am I really too impersonal, and if I am, does that really bother people? Do readers actually want more of my personality injected into my writing?
I believe that good writing is about taking risks. Many writers play it safe, using vocabulary they are comfortable with and writing in a style often intended to imitate a famous author whose style they find strikes a balance between comprehensible and beautiful. In my writing, I like to mix up playing it safe and taking risks. A risk for me, is not editing my work before publishing it and letting my loose thoughts fight to the death for significance. Playing it safe is keeping my writing void of real emotion. My thoughts and opinions do not feel personal to me. I rarely keep my opinions a secret unless I am speaking to a complete stranger so sharing them is hardly risky.
Emotions on the other hand are tricky. I hate talking about how I feel towards other people, or how I feel about particular events in my life. I can say passively, "I failed a test today, so I plan to work harder because I believe that failing a test is unacceptable". However, I will rarely risk saying how I feel about failure. "I failed a test today. It reflects how lazy I've been feeling recently. I feel like everyone will think I am stupid if they find out. I am worried about it. I want to work harder, but I don't know if I can because there are so many other things going on, and I'm not sure if this test even matters compared to these other things and I don't know what to do, and I think I'm going insane because does anyone else get so anxious about one stupid test?" You get the point.
Perhaps the root of my hesitation lies in insecurity. I am worried about what people will think about my feelings. I am worried that people will think I am crazy or worse, confirm my fears that my feelings are something to be mocked and laughed at rather than acknowledged as genuine aspects of my personality.
As of today, I've decided to start taking more risks with what I write here. At least once a week, I will try to write about something real that I'm feeling. I want to acknowledge the fact that I have emotions and find the courage to write about them. My goal with this blog is to work on my abilities as a writer, and this will be largely futile if I withhold a part of myself.
P.S. I really hate titles, and I'm sorry that all of them are horrible.
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