Friday, March 9, 2012

Friday and Jim

Friday.

Beginning with this word is symbolic in two ways ways. I feel like I have Rebecca Black's enthusiasm for this day, and I feel  enough exhaustion to avoid a more creative beginning to this blog post. I don't have much to say this morning. I am under a time crunch and I want to avoid the depressive tone that a few of my earlier posts have had.

This week has been a tough one to survive with sanity and sleep. It seemed that there was so much to do on each day, yet the time went by so quickly. I am glad that I have been busy with crew, my job and homework because all of this has served to distract me from too much negative thinking. It's one of the things I do very well: throw myself into efficient work when the outside world becomes too difficult to deal with.

I wonder how I have kept moving so steadily this week without being destroyed by internal or external pressure. Music has played a large role. I think I've spent more time with my iPod and Jim Morrison this week than I've spent with any book, including Anna Karenina. This week the album that I've been obsessed with is "The Doors" (by The Doors). This album is my survival album. There's something about Jim's voice and the lyrics to his songs that has a calming effect on me.

These lyrics to "The Crystal Ship" are particularly beautiful.



Oh tell me where your freedom lies 
The streets are fields that never die 
Deliver me from reasons why 
You'd rather cry, I'd rather fly 



 Jim's poetry has always helped me think about life and it's fragility. Everything we interact with is so mystical and so beautiful and often times, when we are upset we forget about things that are worth living for: the promise of freedom, fulfillment of our dreams or seeking some immortality in whatever work we are engaged in.


This is the end 
Beautiful friend 
This is the end 
My only friend, the end 
Of our elaborate plans, the end 
Of everything that stands, the end 
No safety or surprise, the end 
I'll never look into your eyes...again 
Can you picture what will be 
So limitless and free 
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand 
In a...desperate land 


The lyrics to the last song on the album, "The End" comfort me when I get anxiety about death or any kinds of impending doom. Of course I alternate my feelings about the complex subject of death,  the only constant for all populations of all kinds of life. Instead of fear or a need to gain control, the words to this song encourage me to feel at peace with the concept of my own extinction and the extinction of people who I care about. Jim's ability to synthesize his philosophies regarding human life and turn his poetry into something dark, magical and soothing all at the same time allows me to reach at least temporary euphoria during darker times.

I am aware of the frightening Oedipal overtones at the end of the song, but these overtones don't bring me discomfort. Jim reminds us that we all have something squalid within our minds. Of course, not all of us have psychosexual complexes related to our parents, but we have something powerful, loud and socially unacceptable buried within us that we want to shriek out.

"Take It As It Comes" is my favorite song on the album to sing along to and is probably the one that I should listen to repetitively to bring down my anxiety levels.


Time to live 
Time to lie 
Time to laugh 
Time to die 

Takes it easy, baby 
Take it as it comes 
Don't move too fast 
And you want your love to last 
Oh, you've been movin' much too fast

The beginning of this song is very basic, yet  this obvious message is so easily forgotten as we move through our lives searching for the "meaning" we are told we should have by now. It is so easy to get wrapped up in distress, euphoria, laziness or a variety of crazy emotions. Young people either rarely stop to ponder, or ponder too much. This song reminds us that there is a time for everything that we're feeling. We do not need to do everything at once. It is alright, and maybe even better to "take it easy" once in a while. In order to have some kind of sanity we need to not move too fast. This week, I tried to let some of Jim's chill California demeanor take over my spirit and inspire me to push through the tough parts of this week without falling into a desperate state.

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