As a biracial girl who grew up in a third world country, I belong in an interesting niche in society. I'm not trying to insinuate that I'm an interesting person, but the world around me has always been fascinating and I have a perspective that might not be unique, but it is rare, at least in the world where I am now. I grew up in a place where I was allowed to become my own person without societal expectations and negative stereotypes playing a role in my becoming a person. No one told me that young black girls were supposed to listen to R&B or that they shouldn't become scientists. No one told me I should overcompensate for the "loud black woman"stereotype by being meek and demure. I was unaware that I had "bad hair"or that I was pretty... "for a black girl". This was a world where being stick thin was looked down upon and being healthy was the ideal. I lived in a place where I was definitely still the minority and frequently considered white, but I was surrounded by a different black culture than the one portrayed by the media or even the one that exists in most of black America. I was surrounded by black women who were strong, hard working, confident and independent. I was allowed to become my own person without emulating black celebrities. My black identity was defined by family and my role models weren't Aaliyah or Beyonce, but my aunts, mother and grandmother.
When I came to the United States, I didn't feel the need to be an activist. I still don't feel the need to get offended by every subtly racist or inappropriate comment made. I can take a joke about being multiracial or about my island heritage. If something is funny, I can acknowledge it as such. If someone wants to touch my hair, I'll probably let them. I understand when people who come from a primarily white world don't get parts of my culture or need help comprehending the significance of even having a black identity.
But recently, as my cynicism about society grows and my awareness about social issues broadens I have felt drawn to stand up for certain things more than I have in the past. This is not a result of personal bitterness, or a growing "chip" on my shoulder. I am driven out of a need for justice and a need to push for equality in all areas of life. I am aware that I am probably not going to affect great change in this world. I lack passion and drive for that kind of thing. But within my niche, I can certainly try to change a few minds. After all, isn't that what true social change is: small scale thought revolutions that eventually spread and take over society.
Despite being a self-proclaimed cynic, I actually believe that most people are not inherently racist or sexist. I believe that misogyny and racism comes from ignorance that is entrenched so deeply in American culture that it is often times hard for people to even identify when they have crossed a line. Many people don't realize they've crossed a line when they say that someone is pretty "for a black girl" or when they use the term "gyp"to refer to being cheated out of money. There are many variations on these two examples that come up if you open your ears up. How should you treat comments like that, that may not be intentionally hurtful, but are certainly inappropriate? If someone tries to silence your voice of opposition, how do you react?
On my good days, I normally just point out when something is not okay by saying exactly that: "That's really not okay", normally accompanied by a brief explanation of why. But, for repeat offenders, it can be difficult to keep calm and not just accuse this person of being outright racist or misogynistic. As a rule of thumb though, pointing out someone's ignorance should always be done without using accusatory words. Sometimes, when reacting to other people's racism/misogyny it is easy to lose sight of rationality and be overcome by emotion, especially if you are passionate about the issue. As a girl, no matter how unemotional I try to keep my reactions, they are often devalued and passed off as me "freaking out". Of course, girls cannot stand up for anything or have a place outside of being "cute".
It's difficult to feel like you cannot be taken seriously. There are a number of facets to my personality, and calling people out when they have crossed the line is one of them. I feel like a lot of what I say can be devalued because of other aspects of my personality and this adds to my cynicism about the people around me. I feel like I should be able to wear six inch heels and dark eyeliner one day and then point out misogyny without my words being either devalued or being called bitchy. I should be able to allow one joke about being multiracial and in the future call someone out on something that crosses the line. It is not up to other people to decide what is offensive to me or to my race.
Even if I feel that it takes a lot of energy to speak out and sometimes I question whether or not my words are changing anyone, I also feel like my life would be empty without some kind of activism. I cannot sit and just accept inappropriate comments. It is not in my nature to lie about what is going on in my head just to fit a stereotype. Standing up for things does not mean that you are bitter or have a chip on your shoulder. If everyone stood up for what they believed in, whispers of change could activate something louder and more powerful.
When I came to the United States, I didn't feel the need to be an activist. I still don't feel the need to get offended by every subtly racist or inappropriate comment made. I can take a joke about being multiracial or about my island heritage. If something is funny, I can acknowledge it as such. If someone wants to touch my hair, I'll probably let them. I understand when people who come from a primarily white world don't get parts of my culture or need help comprehending the significance of even having a black identity.
But recently, as my cynicism about society grows and my awareness about social issues broadens I have felt drawn to stand up for certain things more than I have in the past. This is not a result of personal bitterness, or a growing "chip" on my shoulder. I am driven out of a need for justice and a need to push for equality in all areas of life. I am aware that I am probably not going to affect great change in this world. I lack passion and drive for that kind of thing. But within my niche, I can certainly try to change a few minds. After all, isn't that what true social change is: small scale thought revolutions that eventually spread and take over society.
Despite being a self-proclaimed cynic, I actually believe that most people are not inherently racist or sexist. I believe that misogyny and racism comes from ignorance that is entrenched so deeply in American culture that it is often times hard for people to even identify when they have crossed a line. Many people don't realize they've crossed a line when they say that someone is pretty "for a black girl" or when they use the term "gyp"to refer to being cheated out of money. There are many variations on these two examples that come up if you open your ears up. How should you treat comments like that, that may not be intentionally hurtful, but are certainly inappropriate? If someone tries to silence your voice of opposition, how do you react?
On my good days, I normally just point out when something is not okay by saying exactly that: "That's really not okay", normally accompanied by a brief explanation of why. But, for repeat offenders, it can be difficult to keep calm and not just accuse this person of being outright racist or misogynistic. As a rule of thumb though, pointing out someone's ignorance should always be done without using accusatory words. Sometimes, when reacting to other people's racism/misogyny it is easy to lose sight of rationality and be overcome by emotion, especially if you are passionate about the issue. As a girl, no matter how unemotional I try to keep my reactions, they are often devalued and passed off as me "freaking out". Of course, girls cannot stand up for anything or have a place outside of being "cute".
It's difficult to feel like you cannot be taken seriously. There are a number of facets to my personality, and calling people out when they have crossed the line is one of them. I feel like a lot of what I say can be devalued because of other aspects of my personality and this adds to my cynicism about the people around me. I feel like I should be able to wear six inch heels and dark eyeliner one day and then point out misogyny without my words being either devalued or being called bitchy. I should be able to allow one joke about being multiracial and in the future call someone out on something that crosses the line. It is not up to other people to decide what is offensive to me or to my race.
Even if I feel that it takes a lot of energy to speak out and sometimes I question whether or not my words are changing anyone, I also feel like my life would be empty without some kind of activism. I cannot sit and just accept inappropriate comments. It is not in my nature to lie about what is going on in my head just to fit a stereotype. Standing up for things does not mean that you are bitter or have a chip on your shoulder. If everyone stood up for what they believed in, whispers of change could activate something louder and more powerful.
No comments:
Post a Comment